You may deceive everyone else but you cannot keep fooling yourself


You may find yourself in a position where you feel compromised and that you need to regain some superiority or status of sorts. This might lead you to acting differently from who you’d normally be while trying to reassert yourself.

This may stem from a desire to belong or fit into a group or your perceived role within a group. Again, it’s okay. But it is not a behavior we should perpetuate. Neither is it fair to whomever you’re projecting this image to nor is it fair to yourself.

People may not be able to notice any anomaly in your behavior and you may even be strong enough to rewire your psyche to think that you are comfortable with it. However, it represents an escape from reality to achieve a state of comfort.

Everybody loves comfort; it is the basis for which we do things. Whenever we encounter uncomfortable situations, we tend to look for the most conveniently available solution to regain our sense of comfort. In this case, it’s adjusting your behavior to regain a foothold within your social circle.

Sure, adjusting your behavior to suit different scenarios is tactful and necessary. But what I’m referring to is the times where, in retrospect, you regret how you acted and realized it didn’t reflect who you really are or who you want to be.

I have noticed others act pretty weird as a result while I’ve struggled with this feeling too and always wonder why I inhibit my own intuition and thoughts just to maintain some sort of status quo. For me, I know groupthink is unhelpful but I find myself committing this sin occasionally just so I don’t ruffle any feathers. See, that’s me settling for comfort.

At the time, everything will feel normal and perfectly fine as things proceed swimmingly. However, I believe that the niggling feeling of uneasiness from acting against your personality and character will catch up with you eventually. So, it is important to stay mindful; be socially aware, but not hypocritical.

Good character is doing the right things day in and day out, even when nobody is looking.

There are reasons why there is a greater emphasis on person-job and person-organization fit nowadays. It benefits the company, and it definitely benefits you too. This simple concept in Human Resource Management on finding the right fit can be applied to our everyday lives.

When you find a place with which you mutually fit, you don’t have to be distracted by any discomfort over your position within the circle or act strangely. You can focus on the things that matter and be happy. And being happy is far more rewarding than settling for comfort.

At the end of the day, when you reflect, you’ll want to be able to share your stories in first-person rather than seeing your façade and feeling like a third party. Take ownership of your life and the decisions you make; do something today that the future you will be proud of and thank you for.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

Written By Robin Loh


The Bulb Culture

“Motivating You one step at a time.”

Robin Loh is The Bulb Culture’s latest contributor and is best known for his weekly motivational post “Midweek Motivation” and other great content over at “Readers Digress“. Follow him on Twitter to let him know that you enjoyed this post @rlym1606

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One thought on “You may deceive everyone else but you cannot keep fooling yourself

  1. This last bit about being able to be public and open about what you’re doing is especially important. There were a bunch of projects I’ve done in the past to which I didn’t want to attach my name. That should have been a red flag for me. The things I’m passionate about now don’t require a facade, and that’s how I know I’m on the right track.

    Liked by 1 person

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